"The Power of Healthy Communication" | March 9, 2025 | Ps Amber George

In a world where nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, it's crucial to examine the foundations of our relationships. One of the most significant factors contributing to marital breakdown is poor communication. In fact, over 40% of divorces cite communication problems as a primary reason for separation. This statistic doesn't even account for other issues like financial disagreements or intimacy problems, which often stem from ineffective communication.

The importance of healthy communication in marriage cannot be overstated. It's not a luxury; it's an absolute necessity. Our relationships are fueled by communication, and our words have the power to either bring us together or tear us apart. As King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, said in Proverbs 18:21, "The tongue has the power of life and death."

This profound truth is illustrated in the biblical story of the Tower of Babel. When humanity united to build a tower to the heavens, God didn't take away their building materials or skills. Instead, He confused their language, effectively halting their progress by removing their ability to communicate. This story demonstrates the immense power of words to unite or divide us.

However, communication isn't just about the words we say. It's a complex interplay of verbal and non-verbal cues, including body language, tone, volume, and attentiveness. In marriage, these nuances become even more critical as two unique individuals, often with different communication styles, try to build a life together.

So how can we cultivate healthy communication in our marriages? Let's explore three key lessons:

1. Learn to Listen and Embrace the Power of Silence

James 1:19 advises us to be "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." This wisdom encourages us to practice active listening – listening to understand rather than to respond. It means focusing on what our spouse is saying, observing their body language, and trying to comprehend the emotions behind their words.

Embracing silence is a crucial part of this process. Sometimes, we need to ask questions and then give our partner space to think and respond. The power of silence creates an expectation and an invitation for our spouse to share more deeply.

However, it's essential to distinguish between embracing silence and using the "silent treatment" as a weapon. Emotional avoidance and shutting down are destructive behaviors that hinder healthy communication.

2. Learn to Speak and Respect the Power of Words

While listening is crucial, learning to articulate our thoughts, feelings, and desires is equally important. For some, this comes naturally, while others may struggle to express themselves. Regardless of where we fall on this spectrum, sharing parts of ourselves that aren't readily available to the public creates emotional intimacy and strengthens the marital bond.

When it comes to conflict, avoiding difficult conversations might seem easier in the moment, but it's destructive in the long run. Honest communication is non-negotiable for a growing, thriving marriage.

However, we must be mindful of the state of our hearts when we speak. Luke 6:45 reminds us that "what you say flows from what is in your heart." Before engaging in challenging conversations, it's wise to take a moment to check our hearts and choose our words carefully, remembering that once spoken, words cannot be taken back.

3. Learn to Pray and Access the Power of Inviting God into the Conversation

Prayer is a powerful tool that's often overlooked in marital communication. It's not just a last resort but should be the foundation of our marriages. James encourages us to ask God for wisdom, assuring us that He will generously provide it without finding fault.

There are three specific areas where prayer can transform our marital communication:

a) Praying for your spouse: Ask God to give you His eyes, heart, and ears for your partner.
b) Praying with your spouse: Regularly come together to seek God's vision for your marriage.
c) Receiving prayer from your spouse: Allow your partner to pray over you, fostering spiritual intimacy.

Philippians 4:6-7 promises that when we pray about everything instead of worrying, we'll experience God's peace, which surpasses all understanding and guards our hearts and minds. This supernatural peace can profoundly impact our communication, especially during challenging conversations.

Incorporating these lessons into our marriages isn't always easy. It requires intentionality, practice, and often feels awkward at first. But the rewards are immeasurable. By learning to listen actively, speak thoughtfully, and pray fervently, we can build marriages that not only survive but thrive.

Remember, clear and effective communication is one of the most complex skills to master. It doesn't come naturally to most of us, which is why we need God's supernatural power in our marriages. Only He can truly teach us how to listen with empathy, speak with love and wisdom, and seek His guidance through prayer.

Whether your marriage is at its best or teetering on the edge, it's never too late to invite Jesus into your relationship. There's something incredibly powerful when a couple chooses to seek God together. It creates a spiritual intimacy that goes beyond emotional or physical connection, forming the deepest and most powerful bond possible in a marriage.

So, let's challenge ourselves today. Let's commit to improving our marital communication by practicing active listening, speaking with intention and love, and inviting God into every aspect of our relationships. As we do, we may just find that our marriages become a testament to God's transformative power, bringing life and abundance where there was once struggle and discord.